raj:Hello all... this is Rodney with MelaNet and the African Wedding Guide. We will start with Ms. Richardson-Hall in a few minutes. Please feel free to openly chat for now.
lollipop:How did you get started?
WeddingDiva: I got married and it kind of spiraled from there!
lollipop:okay Raj
lollipop:I'm getting married 6/30/01
WeddingDiva: But I've always been a very organized individual..and that is truly necessary in this business
WeddingDiva: Congratulations!
raj:Congratulations Lollipop!
WeddingDiva: what part of the country do you live in?
lollipop:I am too that is why I'm interested.
lollipop:I live in the virgin Islands and I know they need wedding coordinators
raj:Hi KPW
WeddingDiva: Hi, KPW
lollipop:st. Thomas Virgin islands
WeddingDiva: Wedding planners are needed everywhere. But it takes
WeddingDiva: as special kind of person to perform that task...
WeddingDiva: excuse my spelling this evening - I need to get my nails cut down!
lollipop:I know I have that touch
WeddingDiva: they are interfering with my typong!
lollipop:okay
raj::-)
WeddingDiva: oops, typing see what I mean?
lollipop:how many weddings have you planned so far?
WeddingDiva: I've planned over 400 weddings in my career thus far
raj:We'll start in 5 minutes
lollipop:Wow How long have you been in the business
WeddingDiva: since 1993
lollipop:Okay RAJ
WeddingDiva: and that range of planning includes complete planning down to hourly work
lollipop:RAj I got my attire from nigerian fabrics and fashion
WeddingDiva: they have wonderful clothes!
raj:great! did you tell them the AWG sent you!
lollipop:That's a lot of weddings since 1993
lollipop:I used to live in NY in the same vicinity of NFF
lollipop:Brooklyn NY
raj:cool...
WeddingDiva: It's a lot of work since 1993, but I am not complaining in the least!
lollipop:MY dress is from Therez Fleetwood
raj:Make sure you share pictures with us (if you'd like).
WeddingDiva: That 400 includes every part of wedding planning you can imagine
raj:Good evening choco75
WeddingDiva: Hi, Choco75
lollipop:How can I do that? RAJ
lollipop:Hi Choco
raj:email or snail mail them to us and we would be happy to feature you
lollipop:I wouldn't mind sharing
lollipop:okay have yow heard of therez fleetwood
lollipop:Great Designer
choco75:hi everyone, this is my first chat. sorry I'm so slow
WeddingDiva: no problem, Choco75
KPW:I'm rusty too; just getting the hang of this
lollipop:Diva have you done any afrocentric weddings?
WeddingDiva: yes.....I have
raj:Alright... why don't we get started...
choco75:hi, this is my first chat,
WeddingDiva: and they are all totally different!
lollipop:What special things have you done for these types of Weddings?
raj:We are pleased to have with us again Mrs. Linnyette Richardson-Hall
raj:Linnyette owns a planning and design firm where she creates some of the country's finest weddings and occasions.
WeddingDiva: Thank you for having me this evening - I am truly looking forward to sharing my knowledge with all of you!
KPW:We are glad to have this opportunity. Thank you.
lollipop:Diva the Book going to the chapel is awesome
WeddingDiva: Since we are getting into the wedding season, I thought it would be a great idea to talk about all the things that go into the making of a great wedding
WeddingDiva: Thank you, Lollipop!
raj:Tonight we discuss with Linnyette... Wedding Etiquette...
WeddingDiva: Especially etiquette
lollipop:Okay Raj
KPW:Wonderful
WeddingDiva: The little do's and don'ts that will make your wedding outstanding
WeddingDiva: First, let's talk about timeliness
lollipop:Diva is it okay for me to have escort cards without place cards?
WeddingDiva: As a wedding planner, I am a stickler for being on time!
WeddingDiva: Yes, Lollipop - you can do that, however having place cards is a nice touch.
WeddingDiva: One of the things I like to work with clients on a lot is a schedule
WeddingDiva: for the wedding day.
lollipop:Since it's a brunch reception i was thinking about being a little laid back
WeddingDiva: You are going through a lot of expense and emotion to host a wonderful wedding event
WeddingDiva: it's nice if you are there on time!
WeddingDiva: So, if you understand how the day will go, it's much easier to go with the flow
WeddingDiva: and to enjoy yourself.
lollipop:Since Imy wedding is 10:00 am what time should I be doing my makeup?
WeddingDiva: Of course, this is truly where a great wedding planner comes in, but if you choose not
WeddingDiva: to go that route, you still need to have this master "road map"
lollipop:I want to take pictures before the wedding
WeddingDiva: The best way to do this is to think of your wedding day like the face of a clock
KPW:Yes; but what if all of the people on the roadmap don't show up on time?
WeddingDiva: the time of your ceremony is ground zero and to make sure that you are at the church on time, work backwards
WeddingDiva: Ah ha!
WeddingDiva: As the bride or groom, it's vitally important that all involved parties are where they need to be..
WeddingDiva: when you are choosing persons to participate in your wedding, make sure that you can rely on them
KPW:Shouldn't the brdde
raj:Ms. Richardson-Hall is going to finish her intro. then entertain all questions... Thanks!
KPW:not be seen?
WeddingDiva: trust me, I have started weddings without some folks!
lollipop:WoW
WeddingDiva: as long as the bride, groom, officiant and two witnesses are present we are good to go!
WeddingDiva: Now that I've put that out there..let me answer a couple of questions I saw :)
WeddingDiva: KPW......it's totally up to the bride whether or not she wishes to be "seen" or not
KPW:okay; thanks
WeddingDiva: Superstition holds that a bride should not be seen by her groom prior to the wedding
WeddingDiva: but you have to decide whether you live by superstition or fact.
lollipop:Have you done wedding wher the bride and groom took pictures before the ceremony
KPW:I thought that seeing that everyone is in place was the coordinators job
WeddingDiva: a lot of couple are having their photos taken prior to the wedding so that they can enjoy the entire event
WeddingDiva: we make time for the bride and groom to be alone and the photographer usually gets some of the best pictures at that time
lollipop:That is what I want to do
WeddingDiva: everyone is fresh and the emotions are wonderful.
raj:what impact does that (taking pictures beforehand) have on timing and scheduling?
raj:In terms of etiquette, how do you handle early arriving guests while pictures are being taken?
WeddingDiva: Taking the pictures ahead of time simply means that I add approximately 45 minutes onto the front end of the wedding
WeddingDiva: so for a 4:00 wedding, we'd do pictures on site or at another location around 2:30
WeddingDiva: we'd only need about a half-hour at the most, and then we'd head over to the ceremony site
lollipop:okay if my wedding is 10:00 am it's an outdoor wedding when should I be taking pictures
WeddingDiva: so that would mean that everyone would have to be ready to go around 1:30
WeddingDiva: I would say that you would have your hair/makeup done by 8 a.m., have the photos done around 8:30 a.m.
lollipop:okay thank you
WeddingDiva: you will have a very early day!
lollipop:I know
KPW:No late night bachelorette parties for you Lollipop!
WeddingDiva: KPW - you had mentioned that you thought it was the consultant's job to make sure that everyone was in place
WeddingDiva: let me expound upon that if I can?
raj:I'm curious about these etiquette "traditions." What's the deal with "no children" receptions?
KPW:I thought so; I've never done this before. :)
lollipop:I just want to tell you diva that through your book I have gooten my dreess from Therez Fleetwood, my cake from the cake Diva and my tiara from Sheri hobson green
WeddingDiva: If you've got habitually tardy folks participating in your wedding, then I would literally have to send a staff person to make sure that they are where they are supposed to be.
lollipop:Good question RaJ
WeddingDiva: and I have done it!
WeddingDiva: but the bottom line is, most of these people are adults and should know better.
KPW:Sounds like the plan
choco75:do you have any advice for planning a wedding from another state
KPW:I would hope they would
WeddingDiva: The "no children" deal comes from people not wanting to deal with little folks
KPW:Or the added expense for that matter?
raj:what people?
WeddingDiva: wasting food, running around screaming and generally giving their parents a headache
WeddingDiva: People meaning the hosts of the event.
raj:in other words acting like children at a family event?
WeddingDiva: Children waste food
KPW:I went to a wedding where children could come to the wedding but not the reception
KPW:It was an outdoor wedding
WeddingDiva: From my perspective I don't have a problem with children being there if you can supervise them properly and have age appropriate food and activities for them.
WeddingDiva: Now when I say children, I mean under the age of 12
raj:Wouldn't a consultant help with that?
WeddingDiva: Larger kids can do a lot better
KPW:Are guests sometimes offended by this?
WeddingDiva: Yes - and for a lot of my clients, we hire a nanny service for the little ones
WeddingDiva: and it works quite well
KPW:Hmmm; a nanny is a great idea
WeddingDiva: Actually, most people are not offended by it. They realize that a wedding
lollipop:How would you deal with uninvited guests that showed up at the reception?
raj:Welcome CandiceBlain we are discussing Wedding Etiquette with consultant Linnyette Richardson-Hall (WeddingDiva)
candiceblain:thank you
lollipop:Hi Candice
WeddingDiva: is an expensive proposition and plus, it's a good chance for them to get out for some time minus the kids
WeddingDiva: Hi Candice
candiceblain:hi
WeddingDiva: Did anyone have any additional questions about the timeline issue?
raj:Yes, I have one...
WeddingDiva: Yes?
raj:Is there an "appropriate" for weddings... I mean 10am versus 6pm...
raj:appropriate time
KPW:The number of hours to allot for the reception?
raj:seems like some weddings are way early and others way late
WeddingDiva: You can do it whenever you want - there is no set time
raj:right, but from your experience is there a "best" time?
WeddingDiva: I would tell everyone that depending on the time you choose, create an event that works for that time frame
KPW:If 5 p.m. wedding, do you have to have a sit down dinner?
lollipop:Should you put stamps on the reply envelopes?
WeddingDiva: actually, no - there isn't a "best time", however I am partial to elegant evening weddings!
WeddingDiva: KPW - you have two options
lollipop:Hi Tillie
raj:Welcome Tillie... join in as we discuss Wedding Etiquette with Linnyette Richardson-Hall
tillie:Hello
WeddingDiva: you can go with an hors d'oeuvre/cocktail reception or you can go with the seated meal
KPW:I like the hors d’ouevres idea so that guests can mingle more
tillie:To start, what is the etiquette on children at the reception
WeddingDiva: I would assume that for a 5 o'clock wedding, the reception would probably being around 7 p.m.
KPW:I would like to have food stations and displays
WeddingDiva: An hors d'ouevres reception can be quite elegant, but it can also get pricey
KPW:So I've seen
WeddingDiva: the mingling idea is great, but if you go this route, make sure that you state it on the reception enclosure that you are hosting an hors d'oeuvres reception
WeddingDiva: so that your guests won't expect a full blown seated meal
WeddingDiva: Tille - we just mentioned the issue of kids at a wedding!
KPW:I had not thought of thought but laying it all out makes sense
WeddingDiva: My view is to go with what you are comfortable with
choco75:hat about a cocktail hour before dinner
tillie:Sorry I was late
raj:how soon after the wedding should one send thank you notes?
WeddingDiva: that's okay - we are glad to have you with us!
lollipop:Should you put stamps on reply envelopes?
WeddingDiva: If you decide to have kids at the reception, make sure that you provide age appropriate food and activities for them
WeddingDiva: Whoa! Let me take one at a time :)
WeddingDiva: Choco - a cocktail hour is designed to whet your guest's appetite for the main meal and socializing that will follow
WeddingDiva: I always create a cocktail hour that is unique with different hors d'oeuvres and drinks that look great and taste fabulous
WeddingDiva: so if you are doing seafood for your main course, I would not recommend it for the cocktail hour.
tillie:Yeah but isn't that really expensive?
WeddingDiva: This is a great way to have the exotic, unusual stuff that you might not do for a main course
lollipop:What is expensive tille?
WeddingDiva: And the cocktail "hour " is really only about 45 minutes
tillie:to have a cocktail hour
WeddingDiva: I have the banquet captain or the maitre'd call guests to dinner during the last 15 minutes
lollipop:Very expensive my sister is doing that
choco75:some are included in packages
whj1:sorry is it appropriate to have separate receptions one for general guest and another for "special guest" that may be fancier
WeddingDiva: Tille - most venues include some sort of cocktail hour in their packages
WeddingDiva: whj1 - that is an excellent question!
tillie:Oh really! That sounds like a good idea.
lollipop:BRB
WeddingDiva: a lot of people will do cake & punch at the church especially if there are a large number of guests
tillie:I have that same question whj1!
WeddingDiva: then they will have a private, smaller dinner dance for other guests at another locale
lollipop:Diva when is the couple's first dance done
WeddingDiva: I've done that a lot and it works out just fine
raj:sounds exhausting
WeddingDiva: But I always caution clients to really review their guest lists
WeddingDiva: You only invite those people who mean a lot to you, who support you and who love you inmensely
tillie:How do I start to cut down my guest list?
tillie:I don't want to hurt feelings, especially with coworkers.
WeddingDiva: Just because someone invited you to their wedding, doesn't mean that you have to invite them to yours
WeddingDiva: weddings are personal, intimate events, not free for alls
raj:ok... explain how to delicately handle that one!
tillie:good point
WeddingDiva: you have to pay for these people, so look at it this way
lollipop:DIVA At what time during the reception do you the couple have their first dance?
WeddingDiva: who would you be willing to take to dinner?
lollipop:I agree with you Diva weddings are not free for all
WeddingDiva: Lollipop - the couple can do it when they are first introduced or after dinner
whj1:How long should the couple hang around before leaving & who should pick up the ball once the couple leaves?
lollipop:Thank you
WeddingDiva: when you figure out what you per person cost is, you'd be surprised who will come off that list!
tillie:that's true but I work with a lot I people who will feel hurt if I invited the one and not the other
lollipop:I had to do that Diva
WeddingDiva: Tillie - it's actually simple. If it's going to cause that much angst - don't invite any of them
WeddingDiva: Simply say that you are having close family and that it's an intimate affair
WeddingDiva: which is the truth.
tillie:What about my immediate supervisor and manager (whom I don't like anyway)
WeddingDiva: WHJ1 - I think that couples should leave when they are ready to. But they should at least stay until most of the guests start to leave
WeddingDiva: Well, if you don't like them - why would you invite them?
lollipop:I'm coming back.
choco75:good question
tillie:I think I should definitely rethink my guest list!
WeddingDiva: A lot of people may not agree with me on this, but I am of this school
WeddingDiva: I only want people at my wedding who have good karma, good vibes and who I really, really love.
WeddingDiva: anyone else, need not apply.
choco75:that's true
WeddingDiva: That's where couples make their largest mistake, feeling that they need to invite everyone
raj:any pre-wedding/planning etiquette tips?
WeddingDiva: You don't! If that means your list is down to 50 - so be it!
raj:etiquette with handling the families?
WeddingDiva: Someone had asked about placing a stamp on the RSVP envelopes
tillie:That makes a lot of since, I definitely don't want people who are only there JUST TO SEE so they can go and gossip about it.
WeddingDiva: Yes - you must do that!
WeddingDiva: Just like you are supposed to pay for parking, coat check and other guest amenities
tillie:How long should you wait to get an RSVP reply
WeddingDiva: Your guests are invited - they are not supposed to do anything
WeddingDiva: I usually tell clients that we will use a 2 week window for replies - and know this
WeddingDiva: I am tough about this issue!! If your date was June 1st, it means June 1st
WeddingDiva: not June 6th or the day before the wedding
WeddingDiva: You have to give and pay a caterer for those persons and you need an accurate count.
WeddingDiva: So be tough - and don't give in!
choco75:do you include registry info on invitations ?
WeddingDiva: Never
tillie:So what do I do if someone decides to bring two or three friends
WeddingDiva: a wedding invitation is strictly to inform and invite - it's not a request for a gift
choco75:GUESTS SHOULD ASK?
WeddingDiva: Know that just because you send an invite, your guests are not obligated to give you a gift
WeddingDiva: Did you all know that?
tillie:yes
WeddingDiva: Yes - guests should ask the parents, best man, maid of honor and as a last resort, the couple
WeddingDiva: but you can answer tactfully, saying that any gift they choose to bestow upon you will be gracefully appreciated
WeddingDiva: if they press you, you can inform them of your registry (if you have one)
choco75:i have read to include and to not include
WeddingDiva: Take it from the professional - do not include it!
WeddingDiva: It is extremely tacky to do so!
WeddingDiva: it's like telling people, gimme!
WeddingDiva: and that's not good. You want them there to share in your joy - and if they give you something fine
raj:is there a rule of thumb for siblings being a part of the wedding party?
WeddingDiva: but they were there to witness something wonderful
choco75:i have seen it in the past
WeddingDiva: I've seen it too - and I think that it's just not good
WeddingDiva: Siblings can be a part of the wedding party if you love them that much
choco75:thank you
WeddingDiva: the same rule applies for choosing wedding party members as does guest
WeddingDiva: only have the folks standing up there with you who truly "got your back" so to speak
WeddingDiva: if you don't get along with your siblings and they don't like your fiance - why have the drama?
tillie:what should you do if later, after choosing a bridesmaid, that you don't want them to be in your wedding anymore?
WeddingDiva: It's hard to "pink slip" a bridesmaid!! That should be a choice you never have to make
choco75:how many people have hired a coordinator
tillie:I have a bridesmaid who is turning out to be not cooperative at all.
WeddingDiva: That is why I mentioned the careful choosing of attendants. Once you make that decision - you are pretty much stuck with it.
WeddingDiva: But also, you need to examine why you don't want her in the wedding now...
WeddingDiva: Choco - I can honestly say I wish more people would hire a "professional planner"
WeddingDiva: Not your cousin or friend, but someone who really knows what they are doing and has the background and credentials to back it up
choco75:i hired an ABC member 2 weeks ago and i can finally breathe
raj:well how soon in the process should one hire a professional?
WeddingDiva: You don't know how many weddings I've been called into at the last minute to rescue simply because the "coordinator" did not know what to do!
WeddingDiva: How soon in the process? As soon as you know that you are getting married!
tillie:Is it best to have more than one coordinator?
WeddingDiva: They can help you from the beginning and make the process a lot easier!
WeddingDiva: NO!!! If you are hiring a true professional, someone who does it for a living - then they will be all that you need!
tillie:Thanks
WeddingDiva: I have a staff of 7 - so I can cover all the bases!
WeddingDiva: Choco75 - where do you live? I am a member of ABC also
whj1:How should coordinators be paid. When, how, refunds?
tillie:How should you seat parents that are divorced?
WeddingDiva: each planner has different pricing guidelines. But you should always have a clear contract or agreement that spells out what will and will not be done.
choco75:we reside in Boston and will be married in Pittsburgh
WeddingDiva: If the parents get along - then seat them together. If they are slightly adversarial, put them in separate pews and at separate tables at the reception
tillie:Thanks Diva
WeddingDiva: You are welcome!
WeddingDiva: has this chat been helpful to all of you?
WeddingDiva: I hope that I've been able to answer some of your questions and blow some of those wedding myths out of the water!
raj:I think it's been great!
choco75:yes
tillie:It has
WeddingDiva: I will take a couple more questions - so fire away!
tillie:When should open dancing begin (what time if the reception starts at 4:00 pm)?
WeddingDiva: See - I am an avant garde wedding planner. I never do things the way most folks do and that is why my weddings are so unique
WeddingDiva: I like to have the dancing continue throughout the duration of the event.
choco75:can you give us one unique idea, please
WeddingDiva: Dance after first course, again after the main entree, before the cake
raj:do you work the crowd at the reception (as the consultant)?
tillie:That's what I want, I want the reception to be like a party atmosphere
WeddingDiva: Actually - I am almost invisible. I rely on my dj/bandleader to get the crowd going
WeddingDiva: but that
WeddingDiva: is the way it should be - you may not see me a lot, but the event is flawless
WeddingDiva: I don't need to be seen - I need for the wedding to go as planned
choco75:and mothers are like ambassadors who also warm the crowd up
WeddingDiva: that is my hob
raj:ok... I guess I used to seeing amateur coordinators
WeddingDiva: oops, job
raj:I am that is
WeddingDiva: :) no problem
WeddingDiva: I think that mothers should be warm and wonderful hostesses. Let them enjoy the affair and leave the "leading" to the entertainment professionals you've hired and paid for!
tillie:The DJ is included with my reception site, should I set up an appointment to listen to him/her
raj:Well... WeddingDiva any final thoughts?
WeddingDiva: Most definitely!!! Never book sight unseen
WeddingDiva: Final thoughts? This is a large topic - so we will have to do it again!
raj:Sounds great... We'll schedule one...
WeddingDiva: But I wish that couples would consider the type of celebration they wish to have - not what everyone else wants
choco75:diva, i keep hearing about your magazine signature bride, how can i subscribe?
WeddingDiva: it's your wedding - do it the way you like
tillie:Thanks a lot, and congrats to everyone!
WeddingDiva: email your request to sigbride@aol.com
raj:one last question... ?
WeddingDiva: It has been a pleasure chatting with you all tonight
WeddingDiva: Yes?
KPW1:Thanks WeddingDiva for your time and effort!
raj:Is there a conflict between "doing it like you want" and rules of etiquette?
WeddingDiva: no - etiquette is merely the manner in which things are done in good taste so that no one is offended
raj:maybe I should perceived conflict
raj:shoud say
WeddingDiva: you can still have a unique wedding and follow good protocol and good manners
WeddingDiva: which are two things that never go out of styke
WeddingDiva: oops, style
WeddingDiva: but that's one way a planner can help you
WeddingDiva: we can assist you with navigating unfamiliar territory
raj:Thanks... those seem like fitting closing words for this chat.
raj:Thanks for all your insight
WeddingDiva: and show you ways to do it your way and still have good taste!
KPW1:Do you plan out of town weddings? I'm in Richmond?
WeddingDiva: I plan weddings all over the country!
KPW1:Great!
choco75:and when you are putting out thousands of $$ make sure it is money well spent
WeddingDiva: well said, Choco!
raj:Thanks everyone for participating. Be sure to spread the word about AWG and Linnyette Richardson-Hall!!!
WeddingDiva: Once again - thanks to AWG for having me
WeddingDiva: it's been a blast!
KPW1:Thanks again!
choco75:thank you diva
WeddingDiva: you are welcome - all of you
raj:If you have topics for future chats, please email us at awg@melanet.com
WeddingDiva: Good night!
KPW1:RAJ: What is AWG?
raj:MelaNet's African Wedding Guide -- http://www.melanet.com/awg
KPW1:Thank you.